How do you choose your partner online?
The photo plays a secondary part in online personals, if any. It is secondary because a person is bound to subconsciously choose the more advantageous one, showing their best features. At worst, you would simply get a photo of some model from a fashion magazine. The desire to make an impression is very strong. A person constructs his or her own reality so that he or she looks like an angel. One very famous psychologist said that even the most intimate diaries cannot be seen as accurate personality descriptions, because they are all written with the ulterior motive of someone ultimately reading them. Even when a person makes a confession to a priest, the most acceptable form of monologue is always chosen.
The next thing that is important to mention when you are dealing with online personals is the situation of too much choice. As strange as it seems, too much choice could be very bad for any serious plan, and the ideal environment for a light-hearted one. The more options you have, the more picky you become, the less value you attribute to any offer you get - you know there are so many more to come. When the choice is wide, you actually have no choice at all. There is no need to take a closer look at the person, to try to understand him better, to see if you are good for each other. One has a crumpled shirt on the photo - goodbye, slattern! Another mister has a moderate salary - bye, poor boy. Yet another with high school education also gets nothing - I would not have less than a PhD, and I wish he could play the violin too. And so on and so forth.
When you know all the facts and figures, it is like purchasing a packet of milk or juice. You take a glance at the package, and then you study the components, making sure they are pure, fresh and natural. The value of a person in this case tends to vanish: he or she is treated much like another soap or a brand of cheese. Real-life interaction has the unique factor of personality appeal. It comprises gestures, intonations, how you talk and move, how you respect your interlocutor - everything you call nonverbal communication.
I am sure that many of you would easily recall some experience of meeting a person when the first impression was negative and unpleasant, but then it gradually dissolved and disappeared. Sympathy appears little by little, and you stop noticing the drawbacks that seemed so evident. It is true even when the person has an obvious defect, which really strikes the eye when you first meet. But as time goes by, you stop noticing it. You are attracted by the person, because there are so many virtues - sense of humor, optimism, kindness, honesty, decency - that they override all the imperfections. However, sometimes it is the other way round: the first impression is very strong, but then the positive image you perceived begins to fall apart and melt away, possibly even turning into hatred. The form is not everything, there is also the content. I, for one, think that the content always comes before the form, if you are heading for a serious relationship. If not, then the form is probably more important because the first-impression effect would serve as the basis for any relationship for some time, and then you could just break it off.
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